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Path: utzoo!utcsstat!laura
From: laura@utcsstat.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.flame
Subject: Re: Wombats
Message-ID: <1634@utcsstat.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 10-Jan-84 23:57:11 EST
Article-I.D.: utcsstat.1634
Posted: Tue Jan 10 23:57:11 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 11-Jan-84 00:10:34 EST
References: <1630@utcsstat.UUCP>, <6525@unc.UUCP>
Organization: U. of Toronto, Canada
Lines: 72

Poor Tim. he has obviously not seen the light about wombats. Note that
I am being perfectly open-minded about this and will only paraphrase and
quote Tim out of context to make him look like a fool.

Tim's "spiffy new indentation style" sucks dead worms through a straw.
Besides, he submitted something to some technical group like net.lang.c
where he used a return statement AND USED SUPERFLUOUS BRACKETS!
AND EXTRA WHITESPACE! And if you can't tell how this has any conceivable
relevance to his dislike of wombats then you obviously don't love your
wombats enough and that is all that can be said. This, of course, is
one of the great advantages to loving wombats -- if you love them enough
you will never have to worry about minor things such as your arguments
having logical inconsistancies that Hannibal could drive the elephants
through. Or ending sentences with prepositions. Or incomplete sentences.
But back to Tim.

	Oh, come on now.  

A sugggstive way to begin, is  that not?

	The burrowing may start in Adelaide, but where does it
	end?  In Hell, no place else!  Yes, that's right, wombats are agents of
	Satan. 

Note that Tim has used a sentence which contains the capital letter 'I'
followed by a sentence which contains the phrase 'agent of Satan'
(well, actually, it's 'agents', but don't let a little thing like
accuracy get in your way). I trust that none of you would be so
deluded as to think that I am reading anything into this when I
state that I have used this to reveal Tim's true colours because I
have an axe to grind.

All of this protesting about Satan -- methink the man doth protest too
much! As they said in "Life of Brian" -- "Only the true  Messiah denies
his Messiahood". (and if you notice that Tim hasn't said anything about
Messiahs or denied anything I will beam you with my holy gourd.)

However, I have even more proof that Tim is the real Satanist here.
First an empirical proof (well, actually it's not but the word
sounds nice). Tim accuses me of typographical errors! Fool!
Does he deny that i have been given the curse of typographical
errors to demonstrate the pure, unsullied nature of wombats! You
don't catch them making typographical errors, now, do you!! What
more proof do you need?

However, for those that still doubt, I have a scientific proof that Tim
is a Satanist. I took his article and carefully edited out those lines which
were quotes of what I had said previously. (I didn't want to get contaminated
by the Holy Experiment, after all.) Then I ran a sed script on them, and 
looked for the letters "S", "a", "t", and "n". Do you know what I found?

3 capital "A"s,
3 capital "N"s,
3 capital "S"s,
3 capital "T"s,

(very suspicious, that...)

83 "a"s,
74 "n"s,
82 "s"s,
and 122 "t"s!

Have you any idea how many times you can spell Satan with these letters!
(right -- as many times as you can spell Santa with these letters.)

There is still hope for you Tim, though. Even Satanists can learn how
to love wombats and be forgiven.

laura creighton (wombat lover)
utzoo!utcsstat!laura