Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!decvax!ittvax!bunker!bunkerb!davidson From: davidson@bunkerb.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: ells? (may be offensive not rotated) Message-ID: <281@bunkerb.UUCP> Date: Wed, 18-Jan-84 11:31:23 EST Article-I.D.: bunkerb.281 Posted: Wed Jan 18 11:31:23 1984 Date-Received: Thu, 19-Jan-84 02:16:47 EST Lines: 57 The South Dakota EEL Little Johnny is 12 years old and like other boys is rather curious. He has been hearing quite a bit about courting from older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day, he took this question to his mother, and she became rather flushed. Instead of explaining it to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtain one night and watch his older sister and her boy- friend. This he did, and the following morning explained EVERYTHING to his mother. Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while. then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured sis must have been getting sick because she started looking funny. He must have thought so too because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just like a doctor would, except he's not as smart as a doctor because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. He was getting all out of breath and his other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt. About this time sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when the fever started. I knew it was a fever because sis told him she felt really hot. Finally I found out what was making them so sick. Somehow, mom, and I just can't begin to figure it out, A BIG EEL HAD GOTTEN INSIDE HIS PANTS!!!! it jumped out of his pants and stood there about TEN inches long, HONEST mom. Anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away. When sis saw it, she really got scared. Her eyes got big and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest eel she ever saw. Ha, I should tell her about the ones down at the lake. Anyway, sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting off its head. All of a sudden she made a noise and let the eel go. I guess it bit her back. Then she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting her again. Sis laid back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor lock on it, and he helped by lying on top of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight, mom. Sis was groaning a squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by sque- ezing it between them. After a while, they both quit moaning and gave a great sigh. Her boy friend got up and sure enough they had killed the eel. I knew it was dead because it just hung there limp and some of its insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired after the battle because they went back to courting again. He started hugging and kissing her again. MOM, you wouldn't believe it, I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. The eel wasn't DEAD!!!!! it jumped straight up and started to fight again. I quess eels are like cats, they have nine lives or something. This time sis jumped up and tried to kill the eel by sitting on it. After a 30-minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead this time for sure, because sis's boyfriend peeled its skin off and flushed it down the toilet.