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From: davidson@bunkerb.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Misunderstanding
Message-ID: <280@bunkerb.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 18-Jan-84 10:33:57 EST
Article-I.D.: bunkerb.280
Posted: Wed Jan 18 10:33:57 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 20-Jan-84 01:22:14 EST
Lines: 65


                    A Slight Case Of Misunderstanding

   The British Governments policy of socialized medicine has recently 
been broadened to include a service called "Proxy Fathers". Under the
governments plan, any married woman who is unable to become pregnant
during the first five years of her marriage may request the service
of a "Proxy Father" a government employee who attempts to solve the 
womens problem by getting her pregnant.

   The Smiths, a young married couple have no children and the government
man is due to arrive. Mr. Smith on leaving, says "I'm off, The Government
man should be here soon". INSTEAD, however a door-to-door photograph
saleman comes to the Smith's trying to sell baby pictures.

THE CONVERSATION WENT AS FOLLOWS:

Ms.Smith: Good Morning.
Salesman: Good Morning, you don't known me but I've come to .....
Ms.Smith: Oh, you don't have to explain. My husband told me you were coming.
Salesman: Oh?-Well good. I've made a specialty of babies, especially twins.
Ms.Smith: Thats what my husband said. Please sit down.
Salesman: Then your husband probably told you that........
Ms.Smith: Oh yes, we both agreed this is the best thing to do.
Salesman: Well, in that case perhaps we should get right on with it.
Ms.Smith: (blushing) Well, just where do we start?
Salesman: Just leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub
          one on the couch, and perhaps a couple in the bed. Sometimes the
          living room floor works well.
Ms.Smith: Bathroom!!! Living Room floor!!! No wonder it hasen't worked for us
Salesman: Well Lady, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. but if we
          try six or seven times one of 'em is bound to be a honey.
Ms.Smith: Pardon me, but isn't this a bit informal?
Salesman: No indeed, in my line a man can't do his work in a hurry.
Ms.Smith: Well have you had much success with this?
Salesman: (opening case and showing baby pictures) Just look at these babies,
          They're all jobs I've handled. This one took four hours.
Ms.Smith: Yes, this is a lovely child.
Salesman: But if you want to hear about a really tough assignment, look at
          this picture. Believe it or not, it was done on top of a bus in
          downtown london.
Ms.Smith: OH MY GOD !!
Salesman: and here are pictures of the prettiest twins in town. They turned
          out exceptionally well when you consider that their mother was hard
          to work with.
Ms.Smith: Oh, She was?
Salesman: Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her down to Hyde park
          to get the job done right. People were all around four and five deep
          pushing to get a good look.
Ms.Smith: Four and five deep !!!!!
Salesman: Yes, and for more than 3 hours, too. But I finally got a couple of
          buddies to keep them back. I could've shot again before dark, but
          by that time the squirrels were beginning to nibble on my 
          equipment and I had to give up.
Ms.Smith: You mean they actually chewed on your ahhh - equipment...?
Salesman: Yes, but its all in a days work. I've spent 3 long years perfecting
          my technique. Take this baby. I shot this one in the front window 
          of a big department store.
Ms.Smith: I can't believe it ?
Salesman: Well, Madam if your ready, I'll get my tripod ?
Ms.Smith: TRIPOD !!!!! ??????
Salesman: Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my equipment on. It's
          much too heavy to hold in my hand.
  
          Ms.Smith .... Ms. Smith .... Ms Smith .. Goodness She Fainted !!!!