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From: crane@fortune.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: More Famous Last Words
Message-ID: <2327@fortune.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 20-Jan-84 23:26:11 EST
Article-I.D.: fortune.2327
Posted: Fri Jan 20 23:26:11 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 21-Jan-84 22:23:03 EST
Organization: Fortune Systems, Redwood City, CA
Lines: 41


James Croll (famous Scottish teetotaler): "I'll take a wee drop o' that.
I don't think there's much fear o' me learning to drink now."

Dr. Joseph Green (a surgeon, speaking to his physician): "Congestion."
He then took his own pulse, murmured, "Stopped", and died.

Dominique Bonhours (the grammarian): "I am about to -- or I am going to --
die; either expression is correct."

Wilhelm Hegel (philosopher): "Only one man understood me ... and then
he didn't understand me."

Dylan Thomas: "I've had eighteen streight whiskies. I think that is the
record."

Sir Henry Arthur Jones (When asked whether he would prefer his niece
or his nurse at his bedside): "The prettier. Now fight for it!"


    Now you've heard EVERY famous last words that was  ever  spoken.  EVERY
    one of them is right up there on that list.

    You're wrong coffin-breath.  We've come up with a few of  our  own  and
    here they are: (courtesy of Arthur Roth and quoted from the book "Words
    at Play" by Willard Espy)

A judge: "I have no precedent for this."
A believer in reincarnation: "Intermission time already?"
A lawyer: "My final brief."
A mortician: "I'm off on a busman's holiday."
A childless railroad conductor: "The end of the line."
A philosopher: "No cogito, ergo no sum."
An athiest: "I was kidding all along."
A student: "I fail."
A bridge player: "I pass."
A gossip: "I'm just dying to tell smeone."
An elevator oeprator: "Going up?"
My wife: "I'm not ready yet, give me another five minutes."

John Crane