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From: tmh@ihldt.UUCP (Tom Harris)
Newsgroups: net.misc
Subject: re: Wombats
Message-ID: <2190@ihldt.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 16-Jan-84 10:06:00 EST
Article-I.D.: ihldt.2190
Posted: Mon Jan 16 10:06:00 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 17-Jan-84 02:49:08 EST
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 29


    It is a little know fact that it was actually the Wombat
menace we were fighting in the pacific during WWII, not the 
Japanese (who were just pawns of the Wombats after a giant Wombat
named Norman waded through Tokyo (bet ya didn't know all the
Godzilla movies used newsreel footage with Godzilla superimposed
over Norman)).  The bombs dropped on Pearl Harbor (aka Pearl Baily
Pearl Buck and Pearl Oyster) were not in fact bombs at all but
highly trained Wombat commandos.  It was in fact a Wombat, throwing
itself on the tip of a fourteen inch shell, that blew up the
Arizona and it was six Wombats with blow torches that caused the
Oklahoma to capsize.  It is also little known that it was a Wombat
assassin that caused President Roosevelt to be confined to a
wheelchair.   The dread Japanese Long Lance torpedo was so
effective, because of its wombat guidance system (the early U.S.
attempts to use gophers in the same roll failed since the gopher
like any sensitive creature turns around and runs when confronted
with an enemy warship bristling with guns).  All this information
and more can be found in War of the Wombats by Ramos H. Sharti
(Merde Press 1982).

				I like mine fried in Vegimite,
					Tom Harris

P.S. Rumors that Hitler may in fact have been a Wombat in disguise
are being investigated (Himmler, Bormann and Goebbels were almost
certainly wombats and Goering was probably two).