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From: motss@wivax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: NAMBLA, parents and homophobia
Message-ID: <19141@wivax.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 29-Jan-84 15:04:43 EST
Article-I.D.: wivax.19141
Posted: Sun Jan 29 15:04:43 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 30-Jan-84 06:15:32 EST
Sender: motss@wivax.UUCP
Organization: Wang Institute, Tyngsboro, Ma.  01879
Lines: 36

[I am posting this through a friends account..]

Re: NAMBLA & homophobia - no comments, at least not right now.

As for coming out to parents, the discussion is, for me, a touchy one.  I
haven't done this yet, although I suspect my mother has a good idea
of what's going on, you know, the motherly instinct.  She does seem to look
for reassuring facts to prove to herself that I'm not.  The situation that
I'm in is different from most others, I think, in that I am not the only one
of the children who is gay.  This makes it especially hard for any of us
to 'come-out' to our parents.   My mom works with two lesbians, and she
used to work with one of our friends, so she has been exposed at least a
little bit.  I guess the thing that is holding any of us back from telling
our parents is that they would start asking questions about the others
in the family.  I mean, three out of four, how would they take it?  Would
they blame themselves?  Was is someone they know?  Was it the water?  :-)
We know the answer... it's just the way we are.  My roommate figures with
3 out of 4, it is bound to surface sooner or later, for at least one of us.
He told his parents a few months ago, they were surprised, and accepting it
on a surface level, but deep down, they still think there is hope.  They are
not ready to meet any of his gay friends.  When he visits alone they find it
easier to relate, and they see that he's still the same son they always
had.  He feels that his parents are constantly trying to analyze him and
his friends, regardless of whether they are gay or not.  If and when I do
come out to my parents, I'm sure they'd recap our entire lives to find out
where things went wrong.  I don't think they would really blame each other
of being over/under protective, but that's still a possibility.  Damn, I'm
being very vague... the truth is, I don't know what to expect.  I guess it's
the fear of the unknown.

I've said enough for know.  My roommate does suggest a book on the subject,
called "A Family Matter".  Unfortunately, it was just lent out and he doesn't
recall the author.  

So Long...  Take care...
	"Kidd"