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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!cmcl2!floyd!harpo!seismo!hao!hplabs!sdcrdcf!naz
From: naz@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Norman Azadian)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: What is "Trying Too Hard"?
Message-ID: <764@sdcrdcf.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 5-Jan-84 01:00:58 EST
Article-I.D.: sdcrdcf.764
Posted: Thu Jan  5 01:00:58 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Dec-83 11:39:50 EST
References: <2139@ihldt.UUCP> <988@sdchema.UUCP>
Reply-To: naz@sdcrdcf.UUCP (Norman Azadian)
Organization: System Development Corporation, Santa Monica
Lines: 20

Denise,

Apparently you were surprised when your caller felt rejected after you told
him that you were busy for each of the several dates he suggested.  My reaction
was "Of course he felt rejected".  If you REALLY were interested, you would
naturally have made a few suggestions of your own.  In the absence of these,
your "busy" signals sounded suspiciously like an attempt at polite rejection.
How could he know you were merely being honest when so many others use the
same signals to indicate disinterest?

Remember, he had to take the first step to call you up even though he didn't
know what your reaction would be.  You had the advantage of knowing how both
parties felt about the deal.  The least you could have done was to help him
out by offering alternatives and assuring him that you really did want to see
him sometime.

I didn't want to make this so personal, but it seemed like the most effective
way to say these things.

					NHA