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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!micomvax!softech
From: softech@micomvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Shyness and making the first step.
Message-ID: <229@micomvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 28-Dec-83 13:07:06 EST
Article-I.D.: micomvax.229
Posted: Wed Dec 28 13:07:06 1983
Date-Received: Sun, 1-Jan-84 07:26:47 EST
References: <2323@rabbit.UUCP>
Organization: Micom, Montreal
Lines: 26


	I think it is preferable to risk a small rejection than to miss out
on a potential fun relationship. Shyness is really a non-acceptance of one's
loveability and of the fact that we cannot be liked by everybody we like.
For the shy person, failure to be liked by someone he/she likes (rejection)
will increase the feeling of inapropriateness and make the person even more 
shy. In reality, a person's loveability is intrinsic, it is not dependent on
the fact that he is or not liked by others. A person that can feel his own
loveability without the need for "certification" by others is no longer shy,
because refusal or rejection by another doesn't disturb the belief in his/her
own loveability.

	Ahhh, but I can hear all you shy and secluded people asking me: "How
do I gain that nice self confidence, How do I build this belief in my own
loveability?". That, my friends, is the $65,000 question. My answer, which
may not be the one for you, is that you must confront your ideas (about
yourself and others) with reality. This means you must go out there and
verify the validity of your assumptions about the world. You must find your
"path" of life, and be able to look at yourself act and react to situations.
You will probably have to lose a few illusions about love and friendship, but
in return, you will discover new meanings and new depth to the relationships
you build.


Richard Blouin.
...!philabs!micomvax!softech