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From: lute@abnjh.UUCP (J. Collymore)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: The Other Side of the Fence: A Comment
Message-ID: <374@abnjh.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 3-Jan-84 16:12:50 EST
Article-I.D.: abnjh.374
Posted: Tue Jan  3 16:12:50 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 4-Jan-84 05:19:47 EST
Organization: ATTIS, NJ
Lines: 26

I read someone's comment today to my  earlier article:  "The Other Side of
the Fence," and it concerned women rejecting men either gracefully or
ungracefully.

This situation happened in a local disco a few years ago.  I saw a lady
who was a good dancer and made a note to ask her to dance later when she was
rested.  After I noticed she had been sitting for a good 15-20 minutes (and
was now bouncing in her seat to the music), I went over and asked her to dance.
I went over to her, touched her lightly and breifly on the shoulder, and said:
"Would you like to get out on the floor?"  She turned to me and smiled, and
said:  "No, thank you.  I'm a little tired now, (she then put her hand on
mine for a moment) but please ask me again in a little while, ok?"

I walked away on a cloud!  I didn't care if she had just given me a line as a
brush off or not, I felt great!  WHY?  Because she had emphasized her sincerity
with a touch and it made all the difference in the world how I felt.

She had the rare gift of knowing how to turn a man down, and make him feel
better than he did BEFORE he approached her.  I only wish more women today
would cultivate this type of diplomacy.  It could make all the difference in
the world on how men view women, and how women view men.


					Jim Collymore

p.s.  She did dance with me several times later that night.