Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site datagen.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!floyd!cmcl2!rocky2!datagen!mtc
From: mtc@datagen.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re;: How to ???
Message-ID: <51@datagen.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 6-Jan-84 15:03:51 EST
Article-I.D.: datagen.51
Posted: Fri Jan  6 15:03:51 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 8-Jan-84 01:02:09 EST
Organization: Data General Dist. Systems, Westborough, MA
Lines: 65

Here is a serious answer to the question on how to meet available motss 
This answer is based on living in or near a decent size city (I am in 
the Boston area) but some of it applies to considerably smaller areas.

1. The best way of all! Take classes, join clubs, etc, related to
   your own interests: a foreign language, outdoor activities (skiing,
   scuba, sailing, tennis, whatever), cooking classes, professional
   development, personal finances, etc. In Boston, I especially 
   recommend Cambridge Center for Adult Education, which offers around
   500 classes on almost any leisure time activity you can imagine!

   Cambridge Center also organizes outings - travel, biking or hiking,
   skiing, etc, and other (more national) organizations like AMC also
   offer these opportunities.

   The reasons I think this is the best way to meet folks are:

	a. If you meet someone, you already have something in common.
	b. If you DONT meet someone, you occupied your time in a way
	   that you had fun or learned something useful.
	c. In participating in something you are interested in, you
	   present yourself in a relaxed, sober (usually!) state,
	   unlike bars.

2. In New England (and now other parts of the country), there is a 
   group of people called "Dance New England" which offers a place
   to go dance in an unpressured, alcohol- and tobacco- free 
   environment. The atmosphere is very casual - the people, especially
   when you get to know them, are very friendly and caring/sharing
   folks, in general. Boston area has "Dance Free" on Wednesdays and
   "Dance Friday" on Fridays, among others. I have heard of similar
   gatherings in New Haven CT, NYC, Western Mass, San Francisco, etc.
   You can often find out about such events in newspapers (like the
   Boston Phoenix, Listings).

3. Let your best friends (especially couples or women who are 
   unavailable) know that you would like to be meeting new friends.
   They can be good matchmakers (sometimes) because they know you well
   and know others who may have a similar situation. Ask your friends
   for ideas - ask where they met, etc.

4. Parties where you know and like some of the people. It does not
   pay (usually) to go to parties where the people are very different
   from you. I find parties to be a lot more comfortable than bars.

5. Dating Services and some "Person-to-Person" ads - see the classifieds
   of the Phoenix, etc. I am NOT talking about "sex ads", but rather
   the ones where there are sincere people who want to meet new friends
   for dating. These methods take awhile because the results can be more
   random.

After you have left a serious relationship, it takes awhile to be ready
to meet new people. Give yourself some time. Make sure you understand
what the problems were, or be prepared to make the same mistakes again.
If you still feel hurt or angry, consider seeing a therapist to work
these things out, to help you get back on your feet. Being in an
available state of mind is more important than being in the right place
to meet others.

Singles Bars are a great way to stay single (read: unattached) and
in my opinion not much else. You cannot be yourself, the alcohol and
tobacco is bad for your body, etc. Hanging around museums is trite
(unless art really turns you on and you're going for the art).

--Mark Colan	{allegra | decvax!ittvax | rocky2} ! datagen!mtc