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Path: utzoo!watmath!twltims
From: twltims@watmath.UUCP (Tracy Tims)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: The morning after?? - advise
Message-ID: <6427@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 12-Jan-84 12:22:25 EST
Article-I.D.: watmath.6427
Posted: Thu Jan 12 12:22:25 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 14-Jan-84 00:30:46 EST
References: <2184@ihldt.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 56

Recently I had the experience of befriending a person after a "traumatic"
break-up(first love,2 year romance).  I ask YOU:

-What is the best cure for a broken heart?

	I don't think that a ``best cure'' exists.  Who has a great
	enough understanding of people to even begin to say what it
	might be?  Rule of thumb:  try something.  If the something
	doesn't work, try something else.  Afterwords you'll have
	real knowledge.

-Will time REALLY cure a broken heart?

	``Cure a broken heart?''  Time will eventually put it in
	perspective.  They never get cured, they just get added
	to one's experiences.

-Can a person really establish a serious relationship after this
 experience?

	Yes.  No.  Depends on the person.  Depends on the circum-
	stance.  Again, try something.  Afterwords you'll know
	more.  Spend less time speculating.  Some people can start
	relationships that they later regret ``on the rebound''.
	Until you do it yourself you won't be able to recognise
	one.

-Will engaging in another relationship help or hurt the mending process?
 (assuming that the "mending process" will take a while)

	Who knows?  Again, yes, no, maybe.  No advice anyone can
	give you will apply to your specific circumstance.  If you
	want starting points:  go slowly, try to see how the person
	is responding to the relationship.  Is he becoming dependent?
	Is it purely a ``rebound'' relationship?  Etc.  I don't even
	know if I am using the right pronouns here.

-How do you prevent this experience from affecting future relationships?

	You don't.  You can't.  It wouldn't be wise to try.  The goal
	is to make the effect positive.  There is much to be learned
	from ``bad'' experiences.

-How do you convince a person that LOVE is worth trying again?

	By giving it to them.  That's a hard argument to beat.  Sometimes
	people do need time to recover.

	I am really not clear on the circumstances.  What I am saying in
	general is to go and live life, find out what is right for yourself,
	balance yourself with some forethought but in general try things
	without necessarily requiring any specific results for the
	meaning in your life.  Live and learn.

	The Tracy Tims	{linus,allegra,decvax,utcsrgv}!watmath!twltims
	Advice Co.	The University of Waterloo, 519-885-1211 x2730