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From: anderson@ittvax.UUCP (Scott Anderson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: The power of Hugging
Message-ID: <1239@ittvax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 16-Jan-84 18:19:45 EST
Article-I.D.: ittvax.1239
Posted: Mon Jan 16 18:19:45 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 17-Jan-84 02:56:57 EST
Lines: 48

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Lately in this newsgroup, there have been many protestations of the
wondrous virtues of hugging.  Everone is jumping on the bandwagon,
especially the "new men" (those who reject the old image of men as
strong, silent, Clint-Eastwood-like, macho, etc.)

Now, don't get me wrong; I'd rather hug someone I'm fond of than do
almost anything else, but let's not get carried away.  I don't think
the FDA has established an RDA (Recommended Daily Adult) requirement of
hugs (e.g. I remember reading in this newsgroup that if you don't get
at least three hugs a day, you start to "shrink inside" (whatever THAT
means)).  I managed to go for whole months at a time (during college)
without a loved one even in the same state, much less in hug-range, yet
I don't feel shrunken inside.

I've graduated now and still live in a different state from every member
of my family as well as my girlfriend.  I do without hugs a lot, except
on weekends when my girlfriend visits.  Instead, I have very high phone
bills.

In my opinion, that's what we're talking about:  communication (of
feelings).  A hug is a way of saying "I care about you."  It's been
shown that babies need a LOT of hugging, but that's reasonable, since
hugging is the ONLY way you can tell a baby "I care."  They don't
understand the words yet.  But we are adults now and can communicate
our feelings in other ways.  Personally, I get as much of a charge when
my girlfriend says, "hi sweetheart" from 900 miles away as when she
hugs me.  If hugging were the only way to communicate our mutual caring
and affection, then our (in fact, ANY) long-distance relationship would
be doomed to fail.

I know you're getting bored, but I have one more example:  I see my father
about once every three months, if that.  Yet we're very close, despite the
lack of hugging.  One reason is that we try to talk every day on the phone.
Obviously, we rarely have anything "important" to say, but I'll pit a
sincere "take care, son" against a hug, any day.

In conclusion, let's not endow hugging with magical properties.  It's
the love behind the hug that's magical, so forget about counting hugs.
Instead, make sure your loved ones (including Significant Others and
close old friends of either sex) know that you love them.  Tell them
often [and buy stock in a long-distance phone company :-) ].

I love playing devil's advocate,

Scott D. Anderson
decvax!ittvax!anderson