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From: gam@proper.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: getting over it... - (nf)
Message-ID: <915@proper.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 22-Jan-84 20:56:03 EST
Article-I.D.: proper.915
Posted: Sun Jan 22 20:56:03 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 27-Jan-84 06:15:08 EST
References: <1379@pur-ee.UUCP>, <1651@utcsstat.UUCP>
Organization: Proper UNIX, San Leandro, CA
Lines: 34

> From: laura@utcsstat.UUCP (Laura Creighton)
> 
> Here is Laura Creighton's cold and callous reaction to "broken hearts".
> 
> The only thing that causes a broken heart is selfishness on the part of the
> person with the broken heart. This does not imply that this selfishness is
> what caused the relationship to end (though it could be) or that the other
> person was a saint, merely that if you have a "broken heart" then it is
> your problem. (This is distinct from merely hurting, which we all do,
> but real pain lasts about 20 minutes and then becomes self-pity or
> something even less desirable.)

I find this incredibly wrong.  `... real pain lasts about 20 minutes and then
becomes self-pity or something even less desirable.'  Is this for real?

When someone `goes away', there is a very real sense of loss.  Whatever
intellectualizations you have about why two people break up or how they
feel about it, the fact that one or both of them may suffer afterwards a
profound sense of pain and loss should not be dismissed as some sort of
neurotic problem.

If the point you're making is that moping about and wallowing in
oceans of self-pity for weeks on end does no one any good, then I agree
with you.  But if you expect your paragraph above to be taken literally
-- either I'm not understanding you or you must be an incredibly insensitive
person.

I suspect your entire article was directed to some specific manifestation
of broken-heartedness, but contained so many generalizations that I
could not it unquestioned.
-- 
Gordon A. Moffett
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