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From: wbpesch@ihuxp.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: getting over it... - (nf)
Message-ID: <602@ihuxp.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 24-Jan-84 13:47:48 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxp.602
Posted: Tue Jan 24 13:47:48 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 27-Jan-84 07:59:40 EST
References: <1379@pur-ee.UUCP>, <1651@utcsstat.UUCP> <915@proper.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 22

I will first say that I am speaking of the relationship in passing,
not the "heavy" relationship which evolves over time... both in clock
time and time in terms of length of a relationship.

Another interesting question is whether the sorrow/heartache that you
feel over a loss stems from the loss of a cared-for person, or over
YOUR loss of a card-for person?  How much stems from the pain and how
much comes over your pain?  I personally find that most people have
most of their problems coping with the second case (i.e.  How could
he/she leave ME???)  Has anyone else noticed this?

Another interesting sideline to this point is the way that people
regard the ex after the breakup.  Usually after the self-pity comes
the callous build-up (or perhaps as a growth of the self-pity) of
resentment and rationalization that "He/she was no good anyway.  I am
much better off without him/her."  Myself, I find this to be a form of
healing after a broken relationship, a cauterization.


                                          Walt Pesch
                                      AT&T Technologies
                                     ihnp4!ihuxp!wbpesch