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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!sbcs!debray
From: debray@sbcs.UUCP (Saumya Debray)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Another dumb(?) question
Message-ID: <581@sbcs.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 23-Jan-84 22:55:24 EST
Article-I.D.: sbcs.581
Posted: Mon Jan 23 22:55:24 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 27-Jan-84 08:21:27 EST
References: <484@pucc-h>
Organization: SUNY at Stony Brook
Lines: 33


	> Situation:  I am presently attracted to a young woman who, I
	> feel, would be good for me in my present emotional and spiritual
	> state, but who does not seem quite the sort that I would wish to
	> be involved with permanently (i.e. marriage).  Still, she does
	> seem the sort that I would wish to be involved with temporarily.
	> Is it kosher to ask her out, or would it be merely using her?

It all depends on whether people get hurt, doesn't it?  If she's not given
reasons to misunderstand you and get serious, then there's a good chance
that she'll find it an enjoyable interlude at worst.  And you'll have had
her help and support when you needed it.  I can't see anything wrong with
that!

What, after all, does it mean to "use" a person?  If one promises,
implicitly or explicitly, to give a person something (knowing that he will
not make good the promise), uses that promise to get something from this
person and then fails to keep his word, THAT's "using" someone.  If no
promises are made (or implied) that will not be fulfilled, noone's being
used.


-- 
Saumya Debray
Dept. of Computer Science
SUNY at Stony Brook

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