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Path: utzoo!watmath!watcgl!dmmartindale
From: dmmartindale@watcgl.UUCP (Dave Martindale)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: being "subtle"
Message-ID: <1179@watcgl.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 5-Jan-84 23:10:34 EST
Article-I.D.: watcgl.1179
Posted: Thu Jan  5 23:10:34 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 6-Jan-84 03:13:04 EST
References: <6377@watdaisy.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 17

I think Sophie has a good explanation of why some men try to be subtle when
they ask her out: they fear outright rejection.

Perhaps they are not good at understanding subtle discouraging responses
for just the same reason: they don't want to believe that they are being
discouraged (rejected) unless there is no other possible interpretation.

A question:  Are men equally bad at picking up subtle encouraging
responses as they are at understanding subtle discouraging ones?
If they are not equally bad at both, then the problem is not that they
are poor at picking up subtle messages, it is that they are poor at
facing unpleasant possibilities.

It probably isn't fair to compare men and women based on this.
You are much more likely to find a man in the situation of asking out
a woman even though he is uncomfortable doing so, than you are to find
the positions reversed.