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Path: utzoo!watmath!watdaisy!saquigley
From: saquigley@watdaisy.UUCP (Sophie Quigley)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: womanspace
Message-ID: <6425@watdaisy.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 17-Jan-84 16:46:53 EST
Article-I.D.: watdaisy.6425
Posted: Tue Jan 17 16:46:53 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 18-Jan-84 02:44:29 EST
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 39

Although I defended the right for men to participate in net.women because I
think it is very important to include them in any kind of feminist movement
so that they realise that they have more to gain then loose from feminism,
I too, feel very strongly the need for my "womanspace".  I cannot quantify
why that is so and what it is about a women environment that makes me feel
so good, but it does.  I have lived in three different communities.  I spent
the ages of 8 to 17 in a girl school, then I did my undergraduate at McGill
in math in a setting which I would call "coed" and I am now in Waterloo in
a mostly male environment.  Comparing the three different experiences, I do
have to admit that of the three environments I greatly prefered the girls-only
one.  I had many problems most of the time which were not related to the fact
that I was in a girl-only environment but when I finally overcame them, at
around the age of 15, I really started enjoying my environment and the female
company and I was somewhat sorry to leave it to go to a more "mixed" environ-
ment.  I did enjoy my undergraduate years as things felt "natural".  I had
both women and men friends and didn't feel stiffled at all.  Here, on the
other hand, I feel very frustrated to be in such a male environment.  There
are women around, but as they are very scarce, I do not meet them naturally,
and I don't believe that the fact that they are women is sufficient for us
to become friends, so I will not approach them just because they are women.
It is also very hard to get to know them because, when we do meet, it is 
usually in men's company and men do have a way to steal the limelight.
It is hard to define what I miss when there are no women around, but I do
feel as though half of me is sleeping away.  I am getting more and more
sensitive to sexism around me to the point where I get nearly paranoid and
notice every little detail that shows that I as a woman am not really here.
I do things such as refering to the user as "she" in technical discussions
to try to counter balance the flow of "he"s around me.  The worst part about
it is that most of the men around me are not what I would consider sexist in
that they will not take me seriously;  for the most part, men around here are
very happy to have women around them and are more than willing to take them
seriously and deal with them as equals on a professional basis, but it is just
that I feel that their acceptance of me makes me one of them, and emotionnally
I do feel very different, and I feel that this difference is not recognised.
On the other hand, I wouldn't like them to treat me differently just because
I am a woman.  I don't know if any of this makes sense to anybody.  It doesn't
really make "sense" to me, but this is the way I feel in this environment and I
am still trying to sort my feelings out about all of this.