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Path: utzoo!watmath!watdaisy!saquigley
From: saquigley@watdaisy.UUCP (Sophie Quigley)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Nothing ever happens to people unless they want it to
Message-ID: <6431@watdaisy.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 19-Jan-84 10:32:29 EST
Article-I.D.: watdaisy.6431
Posted: Thu Jan 19 10:32:29 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 20-Jan-84 02:45:57 EST
References: <1198@mit-eddie.UUCP>, <323@hou5g.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 29

Not only that, but most rapes happen between people who already know each
other.  I agree that one could act tough and try to show each and every
man one knows that one will not take any bullshit.  Do you realise what this
means?  spending your whole life putting on an act of being tough and not
letting your defenses down.  What kind of a poisonned existence is that?  It is
bad enough that I have to worry about acting tough whenever I'm out on the
street past curfew (around 5pm most of the time here).  If I have to act tough
and put on a protective shield every time I spend some time alone in a secluded
place with a member of the opposite sex, I just won't bother.  Men who suggest
that we do this don't realise what it really means: a lifetime of paranoia. Most
of us women who know something about rape do have some of this paranoia.  I for
one am very paranoid to the point that I feel very uncomfortable whenever I
find myself in a potential rape situation.  It is not fun.  I have just decided
recently to calm myself down, but it is not easy, because the threat is not
all in my mind.

Maybe you think that is a small trade-off, to be somewhat paranoid so as not to
get raped, but you probably don't realise the full implications of this on men.
Some of us view every man stranger or not as a potential rapist once in a while.
What kind of relationship between the sexes is that?  And then men wonder why
some women are so aggressive and so defensive in front of men.  Your suggestion
that we all "act tough" to prevent rape would make things even worse. Most men
do not rape, and do not deserve to be assumed potential rapists, but unless
rape becomes a less common crime, there is no way this will change.

No, no, it is too easy to tell us to act tough.  If we do and are still raped,
then it will mean that we will not have acted tough enough, won't it, and it
will still be our fault (sounds familiar..).  No, I just won't buy that.
The only solution is for you men out there to stop raping us!