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From: inc@fluke.UUCP (Gary Benson)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: prisons
Message-ID: <173@tpvax.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 19-Jan-84 22:06:00 EST
Article-I.D.: tpvax.173
Posted: Thu Jan 19 22:06:00 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 23-Jan-84 04:31:11 EST
References: <526@seismo.UUCP> <324@hou5g.UUCP>
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, Wash
Lines: 48

!  <-- wombat confuser
Thank you Frodo, for shedding light on the difficult topic of rape. As a
male, of course, I have no way of knowing precisely what it means to be a
victim, but as a human being, I recently learned a lot about what it can
do. I was the first lover of a woman who had been raped 4 years prior to
our meeting, and she was still dealing with it. She had gone through
ungodly hell on Earth, some of it as a result of guilt (she'd of course
heard all those garbage arguments that everyone wants everything that
happens to them), and partly out of rage that no punishment was being done
to her rapist. It has now been 7 years since her rape; she still cannot
forgive, and her psyche is permanently scarred. We became lovers before I
knew any of this, and when she eventually told me, all I could do was cry
for her.

She explained that it had been impossible to relieve her sexual tension,
because thinking of sex made her feel dirty, abused, and subhuman. If more
males had had my experiences, I think that rape would be punishable by
castration, as well as a hefty mandatory jail term, followed by a required
period of psycoanalysis and close monitoring. This is serious business,
and when someone talks out their ass about someone wanting that, it just
brings back all the emotions I shared with this woman. I was enraged with
her at the same time I felt the deepest sadness and pity for her. Only
when males come to realize that a rape is not a trivial event will we at
last see an end to the argument "she was asking for it."

In this case at least, she was definitely not inviting violence. She was
in a public parking ramp, other people were nearby, and she was dressed as
the conservative 40-ish businesswoman she is. She never talks
suggestively, nor walks in anything other than the way a woman walks. Her
attacker came up from behind and knocked her unconscious as she opened her
car door. He put her in the car, and drove out of the ramp. When she
became conscious, he forced her at knifepoint to direct him to her
appartment, where he continuously raped her over one entire demented
weekend. The worst part is that as he climaxed, he continously beat her on
the face, chest, and stomach. She still carries many physical scars as
well as the mental ones.

I challenge *ANY* male who reads net.women to read that and respond that
if this horror had occurred to his mother, girlfriend, sister, lover,
wife, daughter, or friend, to say that he would try to help her forgive.
It goes beyond imagination that any thinking person would say, "Oh my mom?
Yes, she was raped a few years back, but she was asking for it."


-- 

Gary Benson
John Fluke Mfg. Co.
Everett, WA, USA