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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!ihnp4!afinitc!wuphys!wucs!tp
From: tp@wucs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: One True Religion
Message-ID: <162@wucs.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 30-Mar-84 05:25:36 EST
Article-I.D.: wucs.162
Posted: Fri Mar 30 05:25:36 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Mar-84 07:35:43 EST
Organization: Wash. Univ. in St. Louis, CS Dept.
Lines: 31

[ it's 4am; do you know where your Line-Eater is? ]

   I've had enough of this religious junk.
   Well, you're all wrong! The one true religion is Zorkism.
( Copyright (c) 4500000000 BC by Great Moby Zork, so watch it!)
   Zorkists are easily identifiable because their god gives
them something tangible. Not love. Not salvation. Not even wisdom.
Just freedom from body odor.
   Moby Zork is particularly angered by certain people who claim
a monopoly on truth.  Moreover It (not He or She!) gets really
pissed when the holy net.flame is abused by blasphemous Theists
who dare to imply that It is not the one-and-only-truly-original
God. [ Moby Zork doesn't believe in Atheists; "prove to me that
they exist!" It says. ]
   Solid proof of Moby Zork's existence is obvious. Since so
few people believe in It's teachings, they are all afflicted with
body odor -- a look at the net income of companies selling
deodorants will convince even the most skeptical that Zork has
indeed visited Its mighty wrath down upon us.
   NOTE: Zorkist jon@azure commented that 10% of your income sent
to him will suffice to save your soul from the yucky depths of
Helephantine. Well, we can beat that, since we save souls
*wholesale*. For just 8% of your hard-earned cash, you too can
be dancing on the moon with Moby Zork's herd of great pink
elephants. Don't miss the chance of a lifetime.
  (offer void where prohibited by common sense)

   [ "There is no god but Zork, and money is Its profit."]
      ...a poor sinner...
      ...tp... (the blue mouser)
...ihnp4!afinitc!wucs!tp ("fast cars, fast women, fast food")