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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!ihnp4!inuxc!inuxd!rarml
From: rarml@inuxd.UUCP (W DeVilbiss)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Welfare Letters
Message-ID: <516@inuxd.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 4-Apr-84 16:37:45 EST
Article-I.D.: inuxd.516
Posted: Wed Apr  4 16:37:45 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 7-Apr-84 00:39:08 EST
Organization: AT&T Consumer Products Div., Indianapolis
Lines: 65

The following are excerpts from ACTUAL letters received by the
   welfare board.

** In accordance with the instructions, I have given birth to 
   twins in the enclosed envelope...

** I don't have no children as my husband is a bus driver and 
   works day and night.

** Please send money at once.  I fell in error with my Landlord.

** Unless I get my husband money soon, I will be forced to live
   an immortal life.

** In answer to your letter, I have just had a baby boy who weighs
   ten pounds.  I hope this is all the proof you need.

** I am sending my marriage certificate and my three children.
   You can see one of them is a mistake.  His color ain't  the same.

** My children don't know who their father is.  See if you can
   look him up when you have the time.

** I am mad, you have branded my son an illiterate.  This is a
   dirty lie.  I married his father a week before he was born.

** This is my eighth child, what are you going to do about it.

** I can't get sick pay, I got six children can you tell me why?

** I am writing to say that my baby was born two years old.
   When do I get my money?

** You have changed my little boy to a little girl.  Will this
   make any difference?

** I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my six children.
   I had seven, but one died which was baptized on a half sheet
   of paper.

** My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I can't
   find no relief anywhere.

** I want my money as quick as I can get it.  I have been in bed
   with the doctor for two weeks and he hasn't done no good.
   If he can't do any better, I will try another doctor.

** You made a mistake.  I got two children you didn't count as
   my husband works at night.

** Please find out for certain if my husband is dead.  The man I
   live with now can't eat or do nothing until he knows.

** I don't get enough money to live on.  I got eight kids, how
   many do I have to have?

** My husband was reported missing.  I am glad to report he is
   dead now.

** We haven't received out money yet, and my husband and I are
   having a hard time getting our ends together.  (This one was
   sent to the agency on an open postcard.)


That's all folks!