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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!psuvax!burdvax!sjuvax!pklingsb
From: pklingsb@sjuvax.UUCP (P. Klingsberg)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: Welfare Letters
Message-ID: <252@sjuvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 11-Apr-84 14:01:40 EST
Article-I.D.: sjuvax.252
Posted: Wed Apr 11 14:01:40 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 13-Apr-84 21:00:34 EST
References: <516@inuxd.UUCP>
Organization: Saint Josephs Univ. Phila., Pa.
Lines: 42

I've been meaning to post these for some time.  The welfare letter
excerpts have gotten me moving.  The following stolen from a column
by Richard Lederer, are quotes from statements by people involved in
automobile accidents.

[]Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree
  I didn't have.

[]In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

[]I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel
  and had an accident.

[]An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

[]The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out
  of its way when it struck my front end. [I suppose Einstein would
  not object to this formulation.]

[]I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

[]I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
  and headed over the embankment.

[]The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times 
 before I hit him.

[]I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner when it
  was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck 
  several times before.

[]The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

[]I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the
  hood of my car.

[]My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

[]The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

[]The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out 
  of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.