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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!mcnc!philabs!aecom!freund
From: freund@aecom.UUCP (Larry Freund)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: biggest lies
Message-ID: <515@aecom.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 12-Apr-84 12:12:14 EST
Article-I.D.: aecom.515
Posted: Thu Apr 12 12:12:14 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Apr-84 01:34:14 EST
Organization: Albert Einstein Coll. of Med., NY
Lines: 42


              DATE ...  4/12/84                       TIME ON ...  10.42.19         CARDS ... NONEFILE: BIGGEST  LIES     A1  04/12/84 10:19:21    City University of New York / University Computer Center     PAGE 001


 
 
   A LIST OF RUNNER-UP FOR THE
                  "THREE BIGGEST LIES IN AMERICA"
 
 ON ANY PAINT CAN LABEL.....
                  "ONE COAT COVERS."
 IN ANY LATE-NIGHT TV COMMERCIAL...
                  "ORDER NOW]]] THIS IS A LIMITED OFFER]]"
 AT ANY FENDER-BENDER ACCIDENT....
                  "WHIPLASH]"
 IN ANY SUPERMARKET....
                  "EXPRESS LANE CHECKOUT."
 ON ANY PAIR OF SOCKS OR GLOVES....
                  "ONE SIZE FITS ALL]]]"
 IN ANY COMPACT CAR BROCHURE....
                  "SEATS 5 COMFORTABLY"
 IN ANY CLASSIFIED AD SECTION....
                  "YOU CAN EARN UP TO $1,000 PER WEEK IN YOUR OWN HOME"
 ON ANY RECORD ALBUM....
                  "WARNING: ANY UNLAWFUL COPYING OF THIS RECORD WILL
                            RESULT IN CRIMINAL PROSECUTION]"
 FROM ANY PENTAGON OFFICIAL....
                  "THE U.S. CAN SURVIVE A NUCLEAR EXCHANGE]"
 ON ANY GARMENT....
                  "100% PERMANENT PRESS NO IRONING NEEDED
 IN ANY AD FOR A TACKY NICK-NACK....
                  "GUARANTEED TO SOON BECOME A VALUABLE COLLECTORS ITEM"
 ON THE SHIPPING CARTON OF ANYTHING THAT NEEDS TO BE PUT TOGETHER...
                  "FOLLOW ENCLOSED INSTUCTION SHEET FOR QUICK EASY ASSEMBLY"
 AT ANY MOVIE TICKET BOOTH...
                  "RATED "R".UNDER 17 NOT ADMITTED UNLESS ACCOMPANIED BY
                             PARENT OR LEGAL GUARDIAN]"
 IN ANY AUTOMATIC ELEVATORS....
                  "DOOR CLOSE]"
 ON ANY HIRING OFFICE WALL....
                  "AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER]]]]"
 IN ANY HOLLYWOOD CHAPEL....
                  " I DO]]"