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From: freund@aecom.UUCP (Larry Freund)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: physics - method to?
Message-ID: <518@aecom.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 12-Apr-84 12:16:02 EST
Article-I.D.: aecom.518
Posted: Thu Apr 12 12:16:02 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Apr-84 01:34:52 EST
Organization: Albert Einstein Coll. of Med., NY
Lines: 36


              DATE ...  4/12/84                       TIME ON ...  10.44.55         CARDS ... NONEFILE: PHYSICS  NG       A1  04/12/84 10:24:26    City University of New York / University Computer Center     PAGE 001


                       UNIFIED FIELD THEORY
                              BY
 
                          TIM JOSEPH
 
 
IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS ARISTOTLE,
AND OBJECTS AT REST TENDED TO REMAIN AT REST,
AND OBJECTS IN MOTION TENDED TO COME TO REST,
AND SOON EVERYTHING WAS AT REST,
AND G-D SAW THAT IT WAS BORING.
 
THEN G-D CREATED NEWTON,
AND OBJECTS AT REST TENDED TO REMAIN AT REST,
BUT OBJECTS IN MOTION TENDED TO REMAIN IN MOTION,
AND ENERGY WAS CONVSERVED AND MOMENTUM WAS CONSERVED AND MATTER WAS CONSERVED,
AND G-D SAW THAT IT WAS RELATIVELY GENERAL, BUT SOME OF IT WAS ESPECIALLY
        RELATIVE.
 
THEN G-D CREATED BOHR,
AND THERE WAS THE PRINCIPLE,
AND THE PRINCIPLE WAS QUANTUM,
AND ALL THINGS WERE QUANTIFIED,
BUT SOME THINGS WERE STILL RELATIVE,
AND G-D SAW THAT IT WAS CONFUSING.
 
THEN G-D WAS GOING TO CREATE FURGESON,
AND FURGESON WOULD HAVE UNIFIED,
AND HE WOULD HAVE FIELDED A THEORY,
AND ALL WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE,
BUT IT WAS THE SEVENTH DAY,
AND G-D RESTED,
AND OBJECTS AT REST TEND TO REMAIN AT REST.