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From: rarml@inuxd.UUCP (W DeVilbiss)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Auto Insurance Reports
Message-ID: <522@inuxd.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 13-Apr-84 10:01:02 EST
Article-I.D.: inuxd.522
Posted: Fri Apr 13 10:01:02 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Apr-84 07:20:27 EST
Organization: AT&T Consumer Products Div., Indianapolis
Lines: 83

Many have experienced the confusion of traffic accidents and
have had to try and explain exactly what happened in a few
words or less on insurance or accident forms.  The following
quotes were taken from these forms and were eventually pub-
lished in the Toronto Sun, July 26, 1977.

** Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with
   a tree I don't have.

** The other car collided with mine without giving warning of
   it's intentions.

** I thought my window was down but found out it was up when i
   put my hand through it.

** I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

** A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

** A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

** The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of
   times before I hit him.

** I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
   mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

** In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

** I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way
   home.  As i reached an intersection a hedge sprang up ob-
   scuring my vision.  I did not see the other car.

** I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep
   at the wheel and had an accident.

** I was on my way to the doctor's office with rear end trouble
   when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an ac-
   cident.

** As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly ap-
   peared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared be-
   fore.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

** To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck
   the pedestrian.

** My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehi-
   cle.

** An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and
   vanished.

** I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my
   hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

** I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other
   side of the roadway when I struck him.

** The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran
   over him.

** I saw the slow-moving sad faced old gentleman as he bounced
   off the hood of my car.

** The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a
   small car with a big mouth.

** I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later
   found in a ditch by some stray cows.

** The telephone pole was approaching fast.  I was attempting
   to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

** I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the
   vehicle.  The driver and passenger then left immediately for
   a vacation with injuries.


That's All Folks!!
				W. DeVilbiss
				AT&T Consumer Products
				Indianapolis, Indiana