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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!mcnc!philabs!cmcl2!panoff
From: panoff@cmcl2.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.poems
Subject: Untitled, but not unloved
Message-ID: <7500001@cmcl2.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 16-Apr-84 23:50:00 EST
Article-I.D.: cmcl2.7500001
Posted: Mon Apr 16 23:50:00 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 18-Apr-84 19:17:44 EST
Organization: New York University
Lines: 69
Nf-ID: #N:cmcl2:7500001:000:1467
Nf-From: cmcl2!panoff    Apr 16 23:50:00 1984


Not necessarily the first line.


       untitled
 
       I really don't recall
       Just when these walls 
       Began 
       To grow 
       But then it surely 
       Must have been quite 
       Early in my years
       As tears brought on by fears
       (Rejection of affection)
       Fell,
       And in their fall
       A wall was seeded.  
       All 
       I needed 
       Was a fortress 
       Thick;
       So quickly
       (I was younger)
       I began 
       To build
       Foundations wide 
       And deep,
       And steep walls 
       Which I piled high, 
       Each brick 
       On bitter brick,
       Cementing seams 
       With dreams
       And memories;
       And trees 
       I planted blocking sight 
       Of night,
       And day,
       And sun,
       And moon,
       And soon 
       So shielded from the world
       I turned inside
       To hide 
       My tears,
       And fears, 
       And hurts
       From others only for 
       A lonely, waking thought has brought
       A sharp 
       And aching pain: 
       In vain 
       I fortify this room
       And doom myself
       To spend 
       Each day 
       And minute
       In a cell with no one in it
       Save the only person who
       Has ever cursed or hurt me.
       While I wanted
       To be 
       Free from fear,
       And fear of fear,
       I fear these walls 
       Of stone themselves
       And he within them,
       Me.