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From: notes@iuvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.religion
Subject: Suffering - (nf)
Message-ID: <322@iuvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 11-Apr-84 01:07:06 EST
Article-I.D.: iuvax.322
Posted: Wed Apr 11 01:07:06 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 12-Apr-84 05:05:51 EST
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#N:iuvax:1700013:000:3024
iuvax!dsaker    Apr 10 11:28:00 1984

             
In reading this notesfile, I have been struck by the fact that whenever
there is talk of suffering, it is of physical suffering.  Certainly
the physical suffering in the world is appalling, and it has an "objectively
observable" quality to it (you can see the gaping wound - though you can still
only imagine the pain) which makes it easy to refer to, but mental suffering
may also be agonising, and is something most of us are acquainted with.

I am thinking of the inner pains  we experience in our lives, from the small
embarrassments to the betrayals of trust, from the minor disappointments to 
the major bereavements and crushings of hope, from the annoying frustrations 
to the bitterness of a life derailed, from the mild depressions to the periods
of anguished despair at the futility of our efforts, the finitude of 
existence, the aching, unanswered longings buried in our hearts.  

What moves me about this suffering is that much of it stems from human 
qualities that I prize.  Our readiness to love and hold dear, our capacity to 
dream and to be inspired, these things open us to loss and disappointment.  
Our capacity for empathy and compassion, our need for warmth and affection,
these things subject us to pain.  But I despise the attempt to shield oneself
from these pains by shutting down one's feelings; I value the attempt to hold
oneself open and sensitive.

On a more abstract level, consider the longing to "understand what is 
going on in this life, what it all means."  (I put that in quotes because to 
try to express it well would take many hours and many pages.)  A person rises
up from the round of daily cares, looks out (or strives to look out) at the
whole of existence, the outer life and the inner life, and feels the hunger
for an understanding, an illumination.  His (her) inability
to "understand", the sense of confusion and alienation, produces
a piercing distress.  As the mechanisms of ordinary thought and the very 
meanings of words themselves collapse into disarray before the enormity of
the task (the task of "understanding"), this distress can mount to an agony.
Now, this heartfelt need to comprehend, to "understand", I can see only as
something precious and wonderful.  Yet it brings a terrible suffering.  

Some of you reading this might think that these sufferings could be avoided
were one only to pursue the correct religious path, but could any of you
agree to someone being punished for having the feelings that led to these
sufferings?  

Often I have read people pointing to the physical suffering in the world
as a legitimate indictment of (a possible) god.  Certainly the pain and 
disease are terrible wrongs, but is it not even more bitter that to
be open and sensitive, to love and cherish, to strive to "understand",
should lead also to suffering?

The human heart is (can be) so rich.  That it is squeezed in this all
too brief and limited life, this is to me the bitterest of wrongs.


     Daryel Akerlind
  ...ihnp4!inuxc!iuvax!dsaker