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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!floyd!harpo!seismo!hao!hplabs!nsc!chuqui
From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: view on male roles
Message-ID: <807@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 4-Apr-84 12:44:24 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.807
Posted: Wed Apr  4 12:44:24 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 7-Apr-84 02:25:37 EST
References: <2257@harpo.UUCP>
Organization: National Semiconductor, Sunnyvale
Lines: 31

Why play roles at all? I have found that being myself is the best role
of all. The people that I meet that cannot accept me for what I am are not
people that I want to be around anyway, so playing roles to get them to
accept me is self-defeating anyway. 

This does create problems with interacting with people that are not
familiar with me, because many times they are assuming that I am playing
the games, because most other people do. When I meet someone I would like
to see more of, the hardest hurdle to get over is the ritual of the phone
number -- If you don't get her phone number, you don't get anywhere.
(Please note I am discussing a this in terms of women because, as a male,
the social stigmas of a male-female interaction are significantly worse
than they are for male-male) Most women tend to be neccesarily hesitant to
pass out phone numbers to random strangers. My response to this is to
give them my number, and suggest that they call me if they want to. (It is
a real plus to have cards printed and ready...) I have found this to be the
single most effective act to actually showing them (instead of telling
them, an entirely different thing) that I am sincere in my interest in
them, and that I have no intention of pressuring them into anything. Many
of them do end up calling me, and it becomes a much more relaxed atmosphere
than I have found in the traditional setup because there isn't nearly as
much shuffling trying to figure out whats going on.




-- 
From under the bar at Callahan's:		Chuq Von Rospach
{amd70,fortune,hplabs,menlo70}!nsc!chuqui	(408) 733-2600 x242

A toast! To absent friends... {clink}