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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: view on male roles -- who needs them?
Message-ID: <660@pucc-h>
Date: Thu, 12-Apr-84 03:39:19 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.660
Posted: Thu Apr 12 03:39:19 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 13-Apr-84 08:14:24 EST
References: <2257@harpo.UUCP>, <1124@dartvax.UUCP>, <1762@randvax.ARPA>
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Lines: 26

Ed Hall:  I really appreciate your article; it contained a lot of excellent
advice.  (I sort of knew most of it, but I appreciate having it codified and
set out concisely.  Thanks!)

However, there's one little point where we disagree:

> Small-talk is *not* a waste of time, or an act of phoniness.
> It is a relaxing verbal `dance', a way of being with a person
> without making them feel threatened, a way of building trust.
  
Perhaps this is true for you, and for most normal people.  For me, small talk
is phony; it is not relaxing [I'm not a very good `dancer'; I have two left
tongues :-)]; it can be threatening to me, because I'm not good at doing it,
so I'm much more likely to fumble and make at least a minor fool of myself
trying to do small talk than sharing deep stuff.

A question for all:  Is there any way or any place that a man approaching 29
can go to learn and quickly master the mechanics of social interaction that
most people learn when they are kids?  (Particularly is this addressed to
any Purdue readers; is there any place LOCALLY where this is possible?)


-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{allegra|ihnp4|decvax|harpo|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
One man's data are another man's garbage.