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Path: utzoo!watmath!jamcmullan
From: jamcmullan@watmath.UUCP (Judy McMullan)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: qualities to look for in a mate
Message-ID: <7527@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 13-Apr-84 13:47:52 EST
Article-I.D.: watmath.7527
Posted: Fri Apr 13 13:47:52 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 14-Apr-84 04:14:14 EST
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 34

	>How did you go about figuring out what you really wanted in a
	>MOTOS, or what kind of mate you really wanted?  There are
	>numerous characteristics which I MIGHT like in a mate, some of
	>them contradictory.  How does one figure out what one, at bottom,
	>underneath all the shouting pains, really and truly wants in a
	>mate?

I have found that if I decide too closely what I WANT, I sometimes miss out
on good things that I never thought of. For instance, I think I would like
to be able to talk about my work with my mate, so I should try to stick to
computer (software) types. However, I once had a very nice relationship with
an engineer and another with a psychologist. We shared other things so well
that I didn't miss talking about my work.

I am more inclined to think about what I definitely don't want and then just
see what 'sparks' between me and anyone left over. I know I am not terribly
neat so I don't want a housework fanatic unless he is willing to do most of
it himself. I don't want someone too far out of my money bracket (too many
strains on the relationship). I don't want someone who treats me with
disrespect or who doesn't seem to like women (there are lots of men who don't
LIKE women but they NEED them). I don't want someone who is very jealous.
I went out with a very jealous man for a few weeks. What a disaster!!

I can't think of any other "don'ts". After that, I just have to ask myself
if the good times are worth the bad times (or is it vice versa?). If the
question is TOO hard to answer, the answer is usually NO. I can also
answer the question by asking myself if I would be happier without him.
Unfortunately, a couple of times I decided the good stuff outweighed the
bad but my sweetie was of a different mind! I let go quick because I don't
want to impose myself on someone who doesn't want me. What a permanent
downer! After the break-ups I just suffered temporary downers.

   --from the sssstickkky keyboard of JAM
   ...!{clyde|ihnp4|allegra|decvax}!watmath!jamcmullan