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From: julian@deepthot.UUCP (Julian Davies)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: reply to J. Sargent
Message-ID: <292@deepthot.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 16-Apr-84 13:03:39 EST
Article-I.D.: deepthot.292
Posted: Mon Apr 16 13:03:39 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 17-Apr-84 19:08:54 EST
References: <2265@harpo.UUCP>, <538@abnjh.UUCP>
Organization: UWO CS, London Canada
Lines: 39

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p.s.  I am 30, and from the looks of these articles, I think this phenomenon
of loneliness is a norm only for us men in our late 20's and early 30's.  Why, 
I don't know.
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From the grand age of 38, with some older friends, I think loneliness
is a much more universal phenomenon.  I suspect that loneliness is
most widespread among women aged 45 or so up.

I have a woman friend aged young 40s who has had a steady (living
together most of the time) relationship with a younger man, now in
mid 20s, for some years.  It attracted a lot of criticism from her
family, and her son didn't get on with him for quite a while.  An
older woman is socially less acceptable than an older man, rightly or
wrongly.

My own feeling about age differences of 10 years or more is that the
relationship *can* work out extremely well  (my said woman friend
thinks I should be looking for a younger MOTOS to remate with!).
But some caution is indicated.  A young person (meaning under about
25) is likely to change quite a bit as he or she continues maturing,
and this can create new stresses which are unpredictable in future.
This is probably an argument against marrying young.  I'd discourage
(but not forbid!) anyone from marrying under 25 to 30 years of age..
But it cuts both ways.  If you marry young, you have more flexibility
to adjust to each other, but also more time and scope to grow apart.
If you marry older, you have a much better idea of who you are and
what you want and what you can put up with, but you have
correspondingly less flexibility to adjust to someone else's quirks.

There is a lot to be said for the plan of everyone marrying an older
person when young, and then later remarrying a younger person when
old.

One last thought, read Gibran's 'The Prophet' on marriage (and other
topics).
		julian davies
		uwo!julian