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From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: several concerns
Message-ID: <869@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 21-Apr-84 13:51:32 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.869
Posted: Sat Apr 21 13:51:32 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 23-Apr-84 01:23:26 EST
References: <858@nsc.UUCP> <930@hao.UUCP>
Organization: National Semiconductor, Sunnyvale
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    You are going from one extreme to the other. While you make good
    points, that both I and the person who posted the "Do something about
    it" article would do well to consider, I don't agree that anything is
    better than nothing. I have indeed tried to do something when I didn't
    know what the hell to do, and most of the time it has made things
    worse. I don't think that forging blindly ahead will generally produce
    better results than waiting for more of the facts to come in.

Perhaps I was a bit hasty in my last comments, Greg. I seem to have
developed over the years an intuitive sense that seems to guide me away
from pitfalls, and sometimes I forget that other people don't have the
trust in hunches that I have (This is not an unqualified blessing since
trying to convince someone to do it your way because 'it feels right' tends
to be difficult at times... *sigh*). Let me see if I can backtrack and
restate my feelings in a way that might be clearer.

I have found it much preferable to simply live my life and take what
shows up. If I am doing the things that I want to do, then the people
that I meet tend to have the same interests and many of them tend to be
interesting to me, and some of these will usually become friends. If I
went searching for friends, I'd probably never find them, because the
people I want for friends are not waiting to be found, they are off
doing the things they want to do. Friends are not found, friendships
are developed.

What does that have to do with Relationships, you might ask? (Hey, chuq!
What does that have to do with Relationships?) Well, it is my belief that
you can't have a relationship with someone unless you are friends. Trying
to find the Relationship without the friendship is like making an omelette
without eggs. Something is missing. It seems to be much easier to become
lovers than it is to become friends, but unless you can become both, the
situation simply can't last. I'm much more interested having a friend
forever than having a lover for a while. It's the difference between S*X
and Making Love. The former feels good, but the latter involves an intimacy
and sharing that I don't think can either be described to people who
haven't discovered it. I pity people who can't tell the difference between
them.
-- 
From under the bar at Callahan's:		Chuq Von Rospach
{amd70,fortune,hplabs,menlo70}!nsc!chuqui	(408) 733-2600 x242

Never give your heart to a stranger, unless you are sure that you are dead.