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From: roberta@azure.UUCP (Roberta Taussig)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Flirtatious behavior at work
Message-ID: <2701@azure.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 12-Apr-84 15:10:49 EST
Article-I.D.: azure.2701
Posted: Thu Apr 12 15:10:49 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Apr-84 01:21:36 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 31



I think the current debate over whether women should use flirtatious behaviors
to facilitate work interactions misses a fairly significant point. The sides
seem to be divided between "it's power, use it" and "hypocrisy sucks". The
missed middle ground is the fact that very little human behavior is clearly
"sincere" or "phony" except in pathological cases. I smile in a personal way
at a man I'm discussing technical matters with. The smile probably has in it
elements of genuine pleasure at his company, the desire to grease the social
wheels a bit, the knowledge that a little charm from me may get me more from
him than I would otherwise have gotten, and my social conditioning as a woman
to smile whenever possible. The elements of genuine pleasure and the recog-
nition of the beneficial side-effects of my behavior are both there and are
all mixed up together. There may be more or less of any of the ingredients.
I feel a little abashed at allowing the personal response to intrude into a
professional interaction, a little ashamed of myself for knowing the effects
of my smile in so coldly rational a way, and more than a little smug at
having some tool that gives me additional leverage. I also feel pleased
enough with my companion to make the warmth in the smile undeniably genuine.

It is power, and I will use it. There are elements of hypocrisy in it, and
I wish there weren't. And it makes both of us feel good, and I like that.

Are all the subscribers to net.women so very young that they think everything
is only one thing at a time?

Roberta Taussig
..tektronix!tekmdp!roberta
Tektronix
Beaverton, Oregon 97005