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From: pc@hplabsb.UUCP (Patricia Collins)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: cuddling babies
Message-ID: <2229@hplabsb.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 18-Apr-84 12:27:11 EST
Article-I.D.: hplabsb.2229
Posted: Wed Apr 18 12:27:11 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 20-Apr-84 00:33:08 EST
References: <7526@watmath.UUCP>
Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA
Lines: 26


	I refer one and all to Ashley Montague's TOUCHING.  This 
makes a strong case for the importance of physical contact with
infants and children.  I believe that for many adults, the fear
of "holding the baby wrong" or of doing something vaguely immoral
by cuddling and snuggling is brought on by unnatural self-constraints.

	I find it almost impossible to cuddle and have physical 
contact with another person (of any age) without feeling some 
"vulnerability."  I open myself with the voluntary touching and
share some of myself with the other person.  

	I know that many adults have managed to "protect" themselves
from such vulnerable feelings by avoiding shared touches, carresses,
cuddles.  They need not fear rejection or loss of "self-control."
This choice seems to deny being in touch (!) with their feelings
and needs for nurturing and sharing.

	I strongly believe that touching must be mutually acceptable.
Even with very young children, it is not difficult to tell when
physical contact is important and when it is an invasion.  Respecting
another person's needs for contact/space is pretty fundamental.

					Patricia Collins
					hplabs