Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 exptools 1/6/84; site ihuxn.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!ihuxn!jjsk
From: jjsk@ihuxn.UUCP (jim kent)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: School absence excuse notes
Message-ID: <668@ihuxn.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 9-May-84 01:06:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihuxn.668
Posted: Wed May  9 01:06:05 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 9-May-84 07:37:15 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 43

These are actual notes sent from parents. They are collected from various
school districts.

Dear school: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31
and also the 33rd.

Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday - she was in bed with
gramps.

I had to keep Billy home because she had to go Christmas shopping
because I didn't know what size she wore.

Please execute Johnny for being. It was his father's fault.

Chris will not be in school cuz he has an acre in his side.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizacal ed. Please
execute him.

Mark was absence yesterday because he was playing football. He hurt
in the growing part.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this
weekend with the Marines.

Please execute Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a
tree and misplaced her hip.

Please eccuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,
headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever, and sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't
the best either, sore throat, and fever. There must be a flue going
around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Jim from being absent yesterday. He had diahe, diahaer,
dyeth, the shits.