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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!hplabs!tektronix!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!david
From: david@ssc-vax.UUCP (David Norris)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: New Usenet Thesaurus (N.U.T.)!
Message-ID: <160@ssc-vax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 21-May-84 19:20:35 EDT
Article-I.D.: ssc-vax.160
Posted: Mon May 21 19:20:35 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 26-May-84 11:54:46 EDT
Organization: Boeing Aerospace, Seattle
Lines: 59

And now for something completely different.  Introducing the humble beginnings
of the New Usenet Thesaurus!  In it are oft used words and possible meanings in
Usenet articles.  This guide can be invaluable in discovering the hidden
meanings of the posted news.  With the help of the N.U.T., you too can change
the most innocent of articles into a posting truly worthy of net.flame, or
water down the most heated net.flame article to Reader's Digest quality!

moderate     -->    heavy
---------------------------------
discussion          tirade
exciting            melodramatic
satiric             contemptuous
joke                ridicule
inquire             pester
mature              tired, old
establish premise   set up
dedicated           pious
unrefined           immature
preconcieved notion prejudice
skeptical           pigheaded
holy manuscript     dusty tome
limited             inferior
cautious            paranoid
individuals         jerks and slobs
reasons             excuses
authority           Fascist
forum, symposium    circus
simple              moronic
honest              blind

Examples:

<before>                                 <after!>
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
After reading Joe's exciting discussion...
                                   After reading Joe's melodramatic tirade...

Some individuals have honest reasons.
                                   Some jerks and slobs have blind excuses.

He established a premise.
                                   He set us up.

Let's be honest about this forum.
                                   Are you blind?  The Usenet is a circus!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is just the beginning!  How about an automatic Usenet article generator!
How about a tool which automatically translates articles from one Usenet
language to another (i.e., net.religion -> net.abortion), automatically
substituting the proper words from the N.U.T.!  How about a newsreader which
automatically tones down (or inflames) news articles for you, depending on the
day of the week, or what you did or didn't have for breakfast!  How about some
more words for the Thesaurus?  Come on, send 'em in!

	-- David Norris        :-)
	-- uw-beaver!ssc-vax!david