Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site trwspp.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!sdcsvax!sdcrdcf!trwrb!trwspp!barnett From: barnett@trwspp.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: The Mouse. The Lion. And the Lady Giraffe. Message-ID: <444@trwspp.UUCP> Date: Sat, 26-May-84 17:39:34 EDT Article-I.D.: trwspp.444 Posted: Sat May 26 17:39:34 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 01:51:12 EDT Organization: T R W, Redondo Beach, CA Lines: 108 (Should be rotated, but I don't know how ....) Mouse and Lion are sitting in Tony's bar have a drink, feelin' pretty good and reminiscing about their old successes at haiving their way with the coeds back in college, when this Lady Giraffe walks in, goes over to the corner of the bar and sits down. Our friends the Mouse and the Lion are struck dumb and stupefied. You wouldn't believe it. I'm mean, this lady is a KNOCK-OUT. Swishy little tail, legs that this lady is a KNOCKOUT. Beautiful little tail, long legs that don't stop until they get all the way up to there, and big smoldering brown eyes she's telegraphing that come-hither look that lady giraffes are famous for at our friends. "Man!, did you see that?" Mouse gulps down hard. "I think she rubbed against me when she went by." "And I think she's winking at me, right now," says Lion. "I'm gonna go try to score with that chick." "Oh sure man. That lady's a 15 man. You'll never get anywhere with her." "Bet ya ten bucks, friend," sez the lion, "you'll see." So the lion smooths down his mane, puffs up his chest and goes over to talk to the lady giraffe. It looks to Mouse like it's going pretty good. And after a while, the Lion and the giraffe get up and walk arm in arm toward the mouse, and out the door. On the way, the Lion whispers a "stage aside" to his friend. "We're going to her place. Wait here for me," he sez. "I'll be back in 30 minutes, and I'll tell you all about it!!" --- Fifteen minutes goes by and the mouse is having a couple of more drinks and thinking about what luck his friend is having. Twenty minutes goes by, twenty- five. And sure enough, after thirty minutes, the Lion and the Giraffe come bak in the bar. The lady's smiling and looking contented, and the Lion (though he looks a little disheveled and rumpled) is looking pretty happy, too. He sends the lady back to the end of the bar, and sits himself down on the barstool next to the Mouse. "Well? Well? How'd it go, man?" asks the mouse, expectantly. "Jeez, it was FANTASTIC man. Best lay I ever had." "Better than that night we took turns with Mary the minx and Diane the duck?" "Yeah, better that that, evn. That giraffe is some lady. Let me tell you about it ..." "No, no, no ... don't spoil it for me. I'm gonna find out for myself." "I don't know about that," sez the Lion, "maybe you shouldn't ..." "Bet ya ten bucks, friend," sez the lion, "you'll see." So the smooths down his mouse whiskers, gulps down one last shot of whiskey to help his courage, puffs up his chest and goes over to talk to the lady giraffe. It looks to Lion like it's going pretty good, and sure enough, after a while, the mouse and the giraffe get up and walk arm in arm toward the lion, and out the door. On the way, the mouse whispers a "stage aside" to his friend. "We're going to her place. Wait here for me," he sez. "I'll be back in 30 minutes, and I'll tell you all about it!!" --- So the lion sits on the stool and has a couple more beers. Fifteen minutes go by; twenty minutes; twenty-five; thirty; forty-five. After an hour, the lion thinks the mouse must be having a great time, it's taking so long. By an hour and a half, the Lion is beginning to get a little jealous the mouse is getting some much action. Finally, at two hours the Lion is panting and drooling all over himself, just thinking about it, when they come back and the giraffe goes and sits at the end of the bar. Mouse looks pooped. He's exhausted, he's a wreck and he can barely drag his carcass up onto the barstool. "See," Lion asks his friend excitedly, "didn't I tell you she was great?" "Great!?! Whaddaya mean Great. That was TERRIBLE, you #@!$&!. That was the worst lay I ever had in my life. I'm never gonna hustle a giraffe again in my life. I don't care if she's a 20!" "Why? What happened? What happened?" pants and drools the Lion. "Well, I don't know what *you* did with that broad, you #@!$&!. But between kissing one end of her and fucking the other ... ... I MUST'VE RUN A THOUSAND MILES!!!**"