Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site umcp-cs.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!hao!seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!fred From: fred@umcp-cs.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: results of cockroach joke query Message-ID: <7283@umcp-cs.UUCP> Date: Mon, 28-May-84 20:46:06 EDT Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.7283 Posted: Mon May 28 20:46:06 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 07:05:04 EDT Organization: Univ. of Maryland, Computer Science Dept. Lines: 130 Ok gang, I know you've been waiting for this. Here's the results from my query to this newsgroup: Complete the joke: ``How many cockroaches does it take to flush a toilet?''. The responses (in order received) are: From: mcrk@pyuxo Sorry I don't have a good punch line, but how about: cockroaches don't flush toilets; that would be suicide?? Chris@Bellcore I'm not sure I understand that one. From: rlgvax!ihnp4!gargoyle!oddjob!matt (Matt Crawford) How about: 200 to jump on the handle and 5,000 to throw the cat in. ___________________________________________________ Matt ARPA: crawford@anl-mcs.arpa Crawford UUCP: ihnp4!oddjob!matt Allright. From: seismo!decvax!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-mariah!lipp (Nicki Lipp CX01-1/N14 594-2320) My suggestions: a) One, but you have to catch it first! b) None, my cat eats them! Signed: Nicki Lipp DEC engineering Colo Spgs From: seismo!decvax!tekecs!jeffw (Jeff Winslow) Re: How many cockroaches... About half a refrigerator-full. (yecch!!!) Jeff Winslow ?????? From: seismo!decvax!orca!rogerc (Roger M. Christal) "How many cockroaches does it take to flush a toilet?" Answer - "It depends on how many dirty toilet jokes they know". Mugs Away, Mate! - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - \\\\\\ _________ Doctor Dart - - - - - - - - >>>>>>----==(_________)----- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ////// ..{ihnp4,decvax}!tektronix!orca!rogerc ????????????????????????????????????????? From: jm@tty3b Answer: Four thousand and one: four thousand to carry the toilet into the kitchen and one to flush it. Hey, now these are getting weird. From zben Sun May 20 00:22:42 1984 Just one, to make faces at you from atop the handle 'till you swat it... "Flee, my children!" Ben Cranston ...seismo!umcp-cs!zben zben@umd2.ARPA Ah, at last, a funny one! From: UNIX to UNIX copy Subject: Warning From uucp Apparently-To: seismo!umcp-cs!fred We have been unable to contact machine 'oddjob' since you queued your job. . . . The job will be deleted in several days if the problem is not corrected. If you care to kill the job, execute the following command: uustat -koddjobC5937 Sincerely, ihnp4!uucp ############################################# ##### Data File: ############################ From seismo!umcp-cs!fred Fri May 18 15:37:43 1984 remote from ihnp4 Received: by ihnp4.ATT.UUCP; id AA18003; 18 May 84 15:37:43 CDT (Fri) Message-Id: <8405182013.AA10647@seismo.ARPA> Original-From: Fred Blonder Subject: Re: Need punch line to finish joke Boy! These machines have an awful sense of humor. From: charles@sunybcs 'How many cockraoches does it take to flush a toilet?' 'Why spoil a good meal?' Uh oh. They're getting wierd again. From: stanton@fortune I'm glad I don't lunch with you guys! - Dean Stanton So are we. ;-) ******************************************************************** Well, that's it. I'm declaring zben's answer the winner, not because it originated on umcp-cs, but because it was the only one which is truly funny. Thanks to all of you who submitted entries. - Fred