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From: garys@bunkerb.UUCP (Gary Samuelson)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Dealing with hate
Message-ID: <349@bunkerb.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 18-May-84 11:27:07 EDT
Article-I.D.: bunkerb.349
Posted: Fri May 18 11:27:07 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 19-May-84 00:54:15 EDT
Lines: 44

Quoting Col. G. L. Sicherman:
 
	My point was that you cannot help whom you love.  If you hate somebody,
	no amount of wishful thinking will change that.  And it's not good for
	you or your child to believe you love him when you don't.

	If you accept your hate, you can build on it.  My wife and I sometimes
	hate each other (what couple does not?), and we always tell each other.
	Consequently our love is still growing.  I wish more people would avail
	themselves of those three little words:

			"I hate you!"

Now if you still want to avalanche by mail or news, go ahead!

------End quote

It is not true that you cannot help whom you love.  "Wishful thinking"
may not change hate (or indifference) to love, but positive attitudes
and positive actions will.  It depends on whether you want to be the
master of your emotions, or their slave.  It also depends on whether
you think that human beings are inherently valuable, as opposed to
being valuable only when they do things that please you.

"What couple does not sometimes hate each other?"  you ask.  Well,
I'm sure the question was intended to be rhetorical, and that you
don't want, and may not believe, an answer, but my wife and I
never hate each other.  We get angry or upset on occassion, but that
doesn't mean we hate.

If your love is built on hate, what happens when you don't hate
anymore?  Will you conclude that you don't love any more if you
haven't felt hate at least 3 times in the last month?  It reminds
me of an idea which was popularized a few years ago, that couples
have to fight once in a while to prove that they still love each
other.  If that's love, no thanks.

Instead of saying, "I hate you," say, "I have a problem..."

If you recognize your hate, you can analyze the causes, and
eliminate it by replacing it with love.

Gary Samuelson
ittvax!bunker!bunkerb!garys