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From: trb@masscomp.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Re: Non-Sexist Upbringing
Message-ID: <264@masscomp.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 22-May-84 19:30:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: masscomp.264
Posted: Tue May 22 19:30:05 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 23-May-84 09:53:08 EDT
References: <4337@utcsrgv.UUCP> <173@dicomed.UUCP>
Organization: MASSCOMP, Littleton, MA
Lines: 60

I don't have no kids, I are one.

The notion of "non-sexist upbringing" disturbs me.  The notion of a
society without "discrimination" disturbs me.  The problem that these
notions are probably trying to deal with is that of unfair treatment in
society.  The problems that they cause are a denial of reality.

To not discriminate, is to force upon children the specious idea that
they are all the same.  "No pink, no blue, no penis, no breasts.  No
dresses, no cowboys and indians."

If only I indoctrinate them properly, then they'll grow up into the
kind of grown-ups I like.

I can accept that men and women are both good and important and
wonderful.  I can't accept that they are both the same.

I can't believe the kind of Skinnerian experiments some of the people
in this discussion are suggesting.  Consider that any child-rearing
experiment that can be ruined by Jordache jeans commercials was
probably ill-conceived to begin with.

You wanna raise "good" children?  Give them a warm and healthy
environment in which to explore their every curiosity.  Don't go
scheming behind their backs to only expose them to your fascist
ideals.  If you feed your children an insipid line of crap, you will
most likely wind up with insipid children.  If you are lucky, you will
wind up with children who resent your having abused them.

I think that children brought up in a healthy setting will
automatically shy away from the stereotypes you fear.  I think I was
brought up in a pretty healthy environment that way, my parents just
let me do what I wanted, I don't know whether they dressed me in blue
when I was little.  I suppose they did, I suppose they were happy that
their firstborn was a boy, I don't think it affected my upbringing
terribly much.  I wasn't raised to be a power hungry captain of
industry, nor to play football, chase girls, drive a Trans-Am or any of
that stuff.  I was raised to follow my instincts, not my parents'
instincts.  I'm grateful for that.

When I think about how to raise kids, I think about the people I
admire, and I say to myself, "that's something to aspire to be."  When
I think of those admirable people, I can't imagine them being the
fruit of such warped notions as have been suggested in this discussion
on non-sexist child-rearing.

There's a lot of provocative "bad stuff" in the world.  Hatred of all
sorts.  You can shelter your children from it or you can teach your
children that it exists but that it need not harm them if they know
how to deal with it.  Something like teaching your children about
poisons.  No, I'm not suggesting that you take your infant over to the
Clorox.  I am suggesting that when a child can understand the questions
involved, you should explain ALL the pitfalls, and let the children
work it out.  Just because you are bigger than they are and you feed
them, it doesn't mean that they have to think the way you do.

Don't teach your children what to think, teach them to think.

	Andy Tannenbaum   Masscomp Inc  Westford MA   (617) 692-6200 x274