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From: feinberg@trwrb.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Temper Tantrums
Message-ID: <810@trwrb.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 29-May-84 17:09:41 EDT
Article-I.D.: trwrb.810
Posted: Tue May 29 17:09:41 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 07:43:05 EDT
Organization: TRW EDS, Redondo Beach, CA
Lines: 34




On tantrums, I have had two separate experiences.  My daughter, at
about two years old decided to try a tantrum.  I looked at her
(calmly, I like to think) and said "I don't work all day to come
home to a little girl that behaves like this."  We happened to
be in her bedroom, and I told her that when she was ready to
behave decently, she could join her daddy and I in the den.  I
then walked out.  She quit IMMEDIATELY and never threw a tantrum
again.  Being a 21 year old first time mother, I really thought
I had things handled - Motherhood was a piece of cake if you
did it right.

My son, 5 years younger, started holding his breath at 5 months.
Yes, really.  When he threw his first identifiable tantrum, I
tried the tactic above and it just plain didn't work.  When I
left the room, he followed me, screaming.  At 11, he has just
about outgrown tantrums, but I was never really successful in
stopping them with him.  I would insist he stay in his room,
and sometimes he did, but would continue screaming so he could
be certain I could hear him.  Sometimes I was afraid the
neighbors would call the authorities (and was a little concerned
that they didn't) because he sounded like he was being killed.

The point of all this, is that the first tactic might work,
if the personality of the child is receptive to it.  I guess
the only thing I know that doesn't work is getting excited
about it and giving a tantrum attention - that is what they
are after, or so the books say.


                  Cheryl Feinberg