Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site gatech.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!gatech!spaf
From: spaf@gatech.UUCP (Gene Spafford)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.misc,net.net-people
Subject: End-of-the World Party?
Message-ID: <7593@gatech.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 25-May-84 20:19:23 EDT
Article-I.D.: gatech.7593
Posted: Fri May 25 20:19:23 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 05:36:10 EDT
Organization: The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech
Lines: 67

Under terms of the US Unnatural Disasters Act (USC 42 - Stanford 7),
and the Environmental Protection Act of 1980, warning is hearby
given that:
	Uncle Spaf, the Vegan Ewok, and Uncle Chuqui, the Plaid
	Warlock, will be in personal proximity on or about June
	15 in the vicinity of Sunnyvale, California.

	Mothers are warned to hide their daughters, and fathers are
	warned to safeguard their small fuzzy animals (especially
	attractive sheep).  Barkeeps are invited to increase their
	inventory.  California residents are advised to beware the
	increased possibility of natural phenomena, such as earthquakes
	and rains of fire.

	Philosophers, Usenetters, and fools with money are invited to
	apply for audience with these two learned individuals as they
	discourse on life, love, money, enlightenment, and their own
	unique way of avoiding all of these.  Wombats may also be
	discussed, but only if there are no minors present.
	Philosophical Usenetters with money are especially welcome, but
	only if they're buying, or intent on learning the joys of
	giving freely.

	Nubile young females (species open) are also invited to attend
	this momentous occasion.  However, entrants in this category
	will be expected to meet certain requirements.  A preliminary
	screening exam is given below:

	   1) A koan is:
	      a)  A Euclidian solid whose cross-section is an eclipse
	      b)  The man "Yankee Doodle Dandy" was about
	      c)  A means of understanding what cannot be understood
	   
	   2) Oral sex is:
	      a)  An evangelist faith healer
	      b)  How teeth reproduce
	      c)  Tasty with cheese dip

	   3) My four favorite magazines are:
	      a)  Modern Bride, JACM, Better Homes & Gardens, TV Guide
	      b)  True Detective, Reader's Digest, Ms, Seventeen
	      c)  National Lampoon, The Dragon, JIR, Rolling Stone

	   4) A goodnight kiss is:
	      a)  Given to my teddy bear
	      b)  Full of icky germs
	      c)  More interesting the further down it's given
	
	If you answered (a) to more than two questions, you're far too
	straight for us.  If you answered (b) to more than two
	questions then you're too strange for us.  If you answered (c)
	to 2 or more questions, you should present yourself for further
	questioning.  Unfortunately, applicants' travel expenses will
	have to be covered by the applicants themselves; we can't cover
	travel expenses from such scenic locales as Brookline, Austin,
	or Newport (to drop a few names {and/or hints}).


If you would like further details to aid in planning of Civil Defense
measures, please send mail to ...!nsc!chuqui  or ...!spaf!gatech
before June 1, or just to chuq until June 14.
-- 
Off the Wall of Gene Spafford
The Clouds Project, School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
CSNet:	Spaf @ GATech		ARPA:	Spaf%GATech @ CSNet-Relay
uucp:	...!{akgua,allegra,ihnp4,masscomp,ut-ngp}!gatech!spaf
	...!{rlgvax,sb1,uf-cgrl,unmvax,ut-sally}!gatech!spaf