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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!akgua!mcnc!decvax!decwrl!alanurm@tonto.DEC
From: alanurm@tonto.DEC (And a road of my own....)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: How about sincerity....
Message-ID: <7685@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 4-May-84 17:12:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.7685
Posted: Fri May  4 17:12:04 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 5-May-84 07:34:10 EDT
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 41

(This is my own space...)

	Tremendous! There was some good discussion on to look or not to look.

	I have read articles and have heard many MOTOS say that no one wants
to make any committments, all there is out there are one-night stands, etc.
Well, here is one of the reasons why that observation is a self-fulfilling
prophecy.

How about sincerity? (Personal experience follows). I am a truthful and sincere
person and believe in being "upfront" about my expectations. So, last week I
have a date, we go out to eat, (I picked up the tab), we talked until 2:00 am,
discovered many, many things in common. Well, she lamented the fact that in her
previous relationships her SO's had been insincere and uncommitted to the
relationship. So, I told her that here was a man that was willing and able to
make a committment to the right person, and, would like to go out with her and
see where it would lead us. I liked her and she liked me (enough to leave me
alone in her apartment while she took the babysitter home). YET, when I made
a date with her for the following evening (no pressure on my part), she stood
me up! I called her the next day after that and she didn't seem too concerned.
I asked her if she wanted to just forget the whole thing and no, she still was
interested in getting to know each other. I called her a few days later and she
said she didn't feel she was ready for a serious relationship. She still wanted
to date but not right away. I (again) asked if she wanted to just forget it and
(again) no, she wanted to date but not right away. She was settled in her life,
didn't want things to change, and had things that she wanted to do. Fine but
my feeling was that she was (scared?) off by my sincerity and willingness to
commit to something.	Conclusions? Play the game, be aloof, disinterested,
don't admit to caring, needing, wanting someone in your life. 
	I really don't want to play that game and I won't cry poor me so I 
guess I'll just keep on keeping on.

This scenario has been repeated with variations quite a few times in the last
eight years. Disheartening, isn't it. If I am doing something wrong, I would
love to hear some opinions, flames, etc. on it.


				And when the dreamer wakes.....

						Maud'dib
....decvax!decwrl!rhea!tonto!alanurm