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From: edhall@randvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: How about sincerity....
Message-ID: <1784@randvax.ARPA>
Date: Sun, 6-May-84 13:03:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: randvax.1784
Posted: Sun May  6 13:03:14 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 9-May-84 03:31:27 EDT
References: <7685@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: Rand Corp., Santa Monica
Lines: 22

+
I'd turn tail and run if someone started talking `serious commitment'
on the first date.  Now, I'm all for sincerity.  I try to be as honest
in my dealings with people as I can--especially when a person is or
might become a SO.

But there is no way that I can form a clear idea of whether I want a
commitment *with a particular person* in an evening, or probably even
a week.  I've been hurt--most people have--by allowing myself to be
too vulnerable too fast.  Feelings can overwhelm a clear understanding
of the other person; at least for me, getting to know anyone for the
first time is such a turn-on that I start asking myself `is this it?'
(at least with a MOTOS).  I know better, so I take things slow.

This gets back to the `to look or not to look' question.  People generally
are scared of going into a situation in which they might become uncomfor-
tably confined.  So give the other person some space.  They--and you--
should be able to back out gracefully and (relatively) painlessly if it
is discovered that a commitment between the two of you isn't right.

		-Ed Hall
		decvax!randvax!edhall