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Path: utzoo!watmath!jamcmullan
From: jamcmullan@watmath.UUCP (Judy McMullan)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: drooling for marriage
Message-ID: <7788@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 17-May-84 13:46:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: watmath.7788
Posted: Thu May 17 13:46:06 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 18-May-84 00:16:56 EDT
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 33

	>...It gets pretty discouraging after awhile always finding someone
	>drooling to get married. Many people find it hard to be a good
	>friend and a lover too, and when someone is that to them, they
	>cannot handle it. Why is this? Comments??

I can think of three reasons, off the bat, why some people want the formality
and commitment of marriage, rather than a more casual and potentially briefer
relationship.

1) They want daily companionship and love -- not just when it can be arranged.
2) They want a "mate" to raise children with.
3) They want to be "normal" -- to fit it with their portion of society, to
   fulfill expectations of getting married (as opposed to other arrangements).

I won't discuss other reasons such as wanting financial security or raising
one's status...

I get bloody tired of this "your place or mine?" stuff and, even when I was
living with my lover, because I am so socialized to think about marriage, I
always felt on edge because I knew there was no commitment between us.
Perhaps, with a certain type of man, I would be willing to believe professions
of eternal devotion and togetherness. My Mom still wouldn't visit me though...
You sound like a more self-sufficient type than I am, though. You would
probably do best with a part-time companion(s). I like a lot of companionship
and daily cuddling & kissing. I also loved my family life, as a child -- all
the people to talk to, play with, (fight with) and count on. I need that
deep-down feeling that I have someone to count on and someone who loves me.
With that -- I can do anything!!

How's that for an answer?

   --from the sssstickkky keyboard of JAM
   ...!{allegra|ihnp4|clyde|decvax}!watmath!jamcmullan