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From: apple@ihuxn.UUCP (Randy Applegate)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Staying friends with an ex
Message-ID: <685@ihuxn.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 22-May-84 13:21:10 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihuxn.685
Posted: Tue May 22 13:21:10 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 23-May-84 19:27:05 EDT
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 34


I recently decided that my present year-long romance just wasn't
destined to lead to marriage. (I am quite sure we both felt the
same way, even though we never came right out and said so.) 
Therefore, I suggested that perhaps we should not see each other as
much and change the basic nature of the relationship from a romance
to more of a friendship.  To my surprise, she said she thought
it best if we simply said goodbye and never saw each other again!
(We live 40 minutes apart, so that would not be difficult.)

I was thoroughly astonished that she preferred to throw out an
entire friendship just because we discovered we didn't want to
spend the rest of our lives together.  She, on the other hand,
was thoroughly astonished that I would have any desire to continue
to see her.  I am still trying to convince her that we can still
be friends and have fun together (although I see her point that
it could be difficult at first), but nothing is really settled
yet.

I am interested to hear what kind of luck others have had staying
close to ex-whatever-you-prefer-to-call-thems (boyfriends, girlfriends,
lovers, etc.)  I have had fair success in the past, but it has always
been with relationships that broke up because one of us moved several
hundred miles away.  This is the first time I've been geographically
close enough to actually continue to see the person on a regular basis
if we so choose.

How about it?  Do old feelings always have to get in the way of
a less-intense relationship, or can ex-lovers be present friends?
-- 

				Randy Applegate
				AT&T Bell Laboratories
				..ihuxn!apple