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From: cly@cbdkc1.UUCP (Carl Yaffey)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: reasons for getting married
Message-ID: <514@cbdkc1.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 24-May-84 10:26:18 EDT
Article-I.D.: cbdkc1.514
Posted: Thu May 24 10:26:18 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 30-May-84 09:13:52 EDT
Organization: Bell Labs, Columbus
Lines: 38

I have done a LOT of thinking on this subject. Being 42 and divorced,
I have wondered whether or not I ever want to be married again. Here's
my list of the only valid reasons I can come up with for ANYONE getting
married:
1. To please society (starting with your parents). How do you
know getting married would please society? Just imagine what the reaction
to the announcement would be: "Oh, that's WONDerful! CongratuLATions!!"
Pleasing society would also include fitting into the norms of your
religion.
Since I'm no longer into pleasing society, this one is not valid for me.

2. Protection of your partner's rights should you die. Even though a will 
can be written to leave your stuff to ANYONE, a married person is better
protected. A relative could contest the will for instance.
This one concerns me a little, but not enough to marry.

3. To provide an "accepted" environment for kids. Even in today's
society, I think kids of non-married people suffer some prejudice.
They may feel abnormal or be treated badly by others (other kids can 
be cruel).
I'm not real sure this one is true. It's not a problem for me since
I have no children and don't plan to.

I don't think other reasons I've heard are valid: commitment, someone
that'll always be there, etc. for the same reasons that others on the net
have already given. The bottom line for me is that I don't plan to get
married again. I definitely would like to be in a close, caring, loving,
sharing friendship. A piece of paper will NEVER provide or guarantee that.

It's interesting that a lot of the women I meet in their 20's are looking
for someone (ANYONE) to marry. Marriage is a GOAL. A lot of women in their
30's and 40's, however, seem to have learned that it should be the other 
way around: if you find a neat person, THEN consider whether you want to 
stay with them (married or not).
Comments?
-- 
Carl Yaffey at AT&T Bell Laboratories Columbus, Ohio 
614-860-3399 cbosgd!cbdkc1!cly