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Path: utzoo!watmath!wateng!tpchmara
From: tpchmara@wateng.UUCP (Tom Chmara)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: In defense of marriage (thoughts from an ivory tower)
Message-ID: <1027@wateng.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 24-May-84 23:04:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: wateng.1027
Posted: Thu May 24 23:04:56 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 30-May-84 09:19:08 EDT
References: <514@cbdkc1.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 43

[Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!]

	I am not as well versed in this topic as many of the other
contributors to this net; to wit, I am not and have not been married.
If this leaves me too starry-eyed for your stomach, I apologize...but
I have some ideas I'd like shot to Hell; better to learn from someone
ELSE's mistakes.
	I think we all agree that relationships may/may not be made in
a generic Heaven (not sorry if this offends...see previous article); regardless,
regular maintenance is the responsibility of the participants.  I agree
with Mr. Yaffey's points:
	1)  Marriage is not for keeping society happy.
	2)  Marriage MAY be for protecting the rights of your partner,
	    but this is not much of a reason.
	3)  Marriage MAY be for the purpose of protecting your kids from
	    cruel prejudice; again, not much of a reason.
Marriage in the Gov't's view is Good, and provides legal protection and
says you are a Good Citizen.  Well, p*ss on the Gov't.
	I think they've got it all WRONG.  In my antiquated opinion, the
marriage ceremony is a celebration of a union, and the marriage that union.
The marriage ceremony in (an example: it's appropriate and NOT for the
purposes of recruitment, but rather from my own experience)
Catholicism is NOT performed by the priest.  It is performed SOLELY by the
participants.  And for the rest of their lives, it is their responsibility
to make sure that it works.
	This is the flavour of marriage which has been lost in today's society.
I hope to be married at some time in the future; this is entirely dependent
on my meeting someone whose presence in my future seems natural and absence
from it not acceptable, and on her feeling the same way.  I am not content
to ``live together''.  It is too easy to walk away from such a relationship.
If it is (and it has been made) difficult, perchance there is a greater chance
that you will work that much harder to make it succeed.  This means talking
when something bothers you (I've seen too many relationships die over this)
and trying to understand why something means so much to the other.
	Marriage is the most powerful way in existence to say ``I love you
so much I want to share the rest of my life with you.''  Actions are cheap,
but words are dross.  Maybe it's the result of conditioning, but I would
be more inclined to ask not "Why do you want to get married?" but rather
"Why do you not want to marry?  What does it mean that worries or bothers
you so?"
	There it is folks.  Go ahead, tear it to shreds.
		---tpc---