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From: pfautz@inuxd.UUCP (P Pfautz)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Staying friends with an ex
Message-ID: <540@inuxd.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 24-May-84 22:02:43 EDT
Article-I.D.: inuxd.540
Posted: Thu May 24 22:02:43 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 31-May-84 19:31:30 EDT
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Organization: AT&T Consumer Products Div., Indianapolis
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Ah, my favorite subject...
Just received the finally paperwork on settling my second mortgage to my ex-wife
On the stereo in the background James Ingram is doing "There's no easy way
to break somebody's heart"
True enough, but I've found you can stay friends IF
It depends on a lot of things. It helps if you were friends before becoming
lovers. It also helps if the parting is occassioned as the result of an
honest difference of opinion (or better still common agreement) concerning
the (negative) prognosis of the relationship. It hurts if the parting
represents a betrayal or implied or, worse still, expressed promises and
committments or if it results or coincides with nasty treatment of the supposed
SO.
Personally, some of my best friends are exes, including my ex-wife. 
That brings up another point: when you spend a long time with someone and
they tell you goodbye, you're faced with the choice of accepting their
feelings and trying to treat it as a learning experience or vilifying the
SO for leaving and chalking up the time you spent with them as a waste.
I'll take the former anyday. I've been dumper and dumpee; neitH is much
fun, but it helps if you do unto others, etc.
I do tend to agree with the advice about giving the rejected-SO some time
to get over the shock and see how they feel about a platonic relationship
later on.

Still looking for clues at the scene of the crime...