Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: Notesfiles $Revision: 1.6.2.13 $; site uiucdcs.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!inuxc!pur-ee!uiucdcs!kaufman
From: kaufman@uiucdcs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: My Own Thoughts on Desperation - (nf)
Message-ID: <26600082@uiucdcs.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 24-May-84 20:10:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: uiucdcs.26600082
Posted: Thu May 24 20:10:00 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 31-May-84 19:57:54 EDT
Lines: 47
Nf-ID: #N:uiucdcs:26600082:000:2488
Nf-From: uiucdcs!kaufman    May 24 19:10:00 1984

#N:uiucdcs:26600082:000:2488
uiucdcs!kaufman    May 24 19:10:00 1984

[feed the bug, tuppence a bag ...]

> What are you really desperate for?

     A few other responses out of personal experience:

Companionship.  Somebody I can really share time and myself with.  My experi-
ence shows that most people can open up more easily to women than men, regard-
less of their own sex.  I myself am one such person and given my degree of
shyness and difficulty opening up to people, my male friends are just that -
good friends who don't see much of the inner me.  The bond that joins us is one
of common interests and activities.  Although that wall is still around me,
I am able to make an active effort to fight it, while in female company.

Usefulness.  I feel I have a gift that I can bestow upon any who will accept
me.  People generally regard me as one of the nicer people around, and I am
practically itching to reward the person willing to take all of me in.  (Hey,
you with the dirty mind, you know damn well I mean that figuratively!  ;-D)

The Avis Syndrome.  I'm tired of being #2 on everyone's list.  Quite a few
MOTOS like me; they just always like someone more (or met him first).  It's
amazing how here at grad school, all the men are alone, while the women either
have boyfriends/fiances back home, or aren't at all interested in getting
involved with anyone.

The Biological Clock.  This one usually sets the others off.  Here I am,
pushing through my 20s, and have never honestly been able to call a MOTOS mine
for a period not measurable in hours.  It's getting harder and harder to meet
people.  I just moved out of a dorm where I met most of the people I know here
(but man, was it worth it getting out of there!) and into an apartment which
is not the crossroads of the human race.  Sooner or later, I'll be kicked out
of here with a degree and have to make it in the work world, in which my
limited experiences have borne me no halfway close relationships, male or
female.  Some people have no problem meeting others, but ...

Oh well, didn't mean to get so subjective (but needed to?)  Those should add
to the list of reasons why anyone could possibly be aching for a serious
relationship.  I find that the importance in my mind of these things varies,
and is affected by external events which may or may not be directly relevant.
Eg, (see net.flame for meaning) boredom and the inability to remain productive
with my work will often set these things off.

           Enough drivel for now.  :-)
           Ken Kaufman (uiucdcs!kaufman)